Skate & Ski

This winter brought the opportunity for the kids to try out new winter sports. The snow was great, the mum had a smidge more brain capacity freed up (probably from lack of blogging), and some generous friends and some motivated au pairs offered to take the kids skiing and skating.

Lady Kitty has been gaining in confidence on the ice. Linnéa, Theresa, Amie and Lena have all taken Lady Kitty ice skating here and there over the past few years. Lena, though, found a free tots hour on Monday mornings so between Amie, Lena and Tom, Lady Kitty been skating consistently this winter. She adores it and has earned her own pair of skates.

Lady Kitty shares with a seal, which gives her stability and therefore speed on the ice.

A few weeks ago Lena arranged for her an ice skating date with another au pair charge. They both got along really well and it was so sweet. Due to being born at the beginning of the Covid pandemic and subsequent social societal change, combined with having not started school yet, unfortunately, Lady Kitty hasn’t had many opportunities for making friends her own age, so it was a special milestone. Lady Kitty absolutely loved it!

In late February Lake had his first taste of downhill skiing and he absolutely loved that! It came about like this. I kept bringing up in conversation that I was hoping Lake could learn skiing because I thought he would love and excel at it, but that unfortunately neither Michael nor I ski. After a few phishing attempts, when I brought it up and Miramda heard me, Miranda miraculously volunteered to take Lake up to the mountain! She took him the first two Sundays by herself. When she pulled up in her husband Dave’s Toyota Tacoma that first morning, Lake was positively beaming. Many thanks to Miranda!

Lake has been fortunate enough to go every Sunday since. His appetite for another run and a faster speed is insatiable. I’m beginning to wonder if the inevitable trip to the ER will be in our future. Now everyone I hear of a having had a skiing collision I’m like, “can you please share your experience with Lake. Please? Thank you!” He’s on to me. “You told them to tell me that story, didn’t you?” he perceptively launches his accusation at me, glaring. That’s where we are these days. He’s not wrong. He is beginning to exhibit the invincibility of the young. And it’s coming strongly into fulminant expression. And he’s having a great time doing it.

First time out— learning from Miranda on the magic carpet at Snoqualmie Pass Summit.

Miranda is a talented skier and an even more patient teacher. Lake is very lucky!

Advancing to the green chair lifts, and getting his own gear and goggles.

The day Miranda wasn’t available he went with Tom and they both had a blast. Thank you Tom!

Lake kept wanting to go again and he kept having a great time, so I figured I might as well tag along. If I was comfortable skiing, it would open up more possibilities for Lake (and possibly Lady Kitty) to learn when other skiing friends weren’t available to take Lake up. So, I would see if I could dust off my ski skills, and with it, perhaps uncover a latent joy in skiing. I went up with Miranda and Dave. The skiing came back to me and it turns out it’s a lot more confidence -boosting to learn on the flatter local terrain compared with the steep mountain cliffs around Zermatt. So, here we go! We all shared some wholesome wintertime fun in the mountains, and went back for more.

Re-started back on the magic carpet in the morning.

It snowed on us. We skied and had a blast. We came back the next weekend. It rained. We got sopping wet and still had a blast. Okay, but maybe we don’t prefer skiing in the rain. We still laughed a lot and had a blast, though, and it was definitely worth it! Another special shared ski session in the mountains.

Attempting a challenging “blue” run in the rain

Now, Lady Kitty really wants to learn too. It’s contagious. Michael has expressed an interest in learning skiing as well. Maybe next year the whole family will be on the slopes!

…

I will end this story of skating and skiing on a sweet note. On the morning after the time change— (yes Spring is surely coming!) I had to wake Lady Kitty up for ice skating. I was waking her up with cuddles and kisses when I asked her, “ are you having some sweet dreams?” “I have a sweet mama,” she answered. 🥹

A perfect day for snow sports, and I’m glad I get to discover their joy with you my dears!

Wonderland

“When I get a little older I’m moving here,” Lake enthused over his very first pain au chocolate.

This was the first morning after we had traveled for a full day from Seattle to Innsbruck via Frankfurt and Munich. He fell asleep at the table, and started to fall over (I caught him just in time before his head could hit the table), then he fell asleep again sitting up. I guess it’s bedtime!

“What should I call the story about your first trip to Austria?” I asked Lake.

“Wait is this for your blog?” he said.

“Yes,” I replied, mildly surprised he knew I had a blog.

He paused for half a second then replied confidently, “Wonderland.”

Here we go! Five days in Wonderland!

Nimble

“You’re very nimble, Lake,” I said over dinner. In reference to something I already forget what. Possibly some freeze tag antics.

“Do you know what nimble means, Lake?” Michael subsequently asked.

“Nimble means agile,” Lake replied.

Stunned silence on my part.

He acknowledged my wordless surprise by agreeing that was a sophisticated word to use to define another word.

“Yes, I would have probably said, ‘quick’ myself. Agile is even closer though, isn’t it?” I said with a wink.

And then the conversation nimbly turned to a new topic. Lake and I have been seeing a fair bit of live theatre and dance performances lately… it’s fun to share that bond.

I’m glad I spend these tough and breathtakingly beautiful days with you. There are no more perfect days. There are only a sprinkling of perfect moments.

Potatoes and Cabbages

Lady Kitty likes the ‘Potato Story’ and will sometimes to my surprise and delight request it when we are in bed cuddling during the “girls’ spa nights” we’ve been having of late whilst Lake zonks out fast asleep from his busy days. Lady Kitty’s ‘Potato Story’ is an excerpt from Peace is Every Step: the path of mindfulness in everyday life, by Thich Nhat Hanh, and goes like this:

Cooking Our Potatoes
Thanks to the illuminating light of awareness, after pracing mindful observation for a while, we begin to see the primary causes of our anger. Meditation helps us look deeply into things in order to see their nature. If we look into our anger, we can see its roots, such as misunderstanding, clumsiness, injustice, re-sentment, or conditioning. These roots can be present in ourselves and in the person who played the principal role in precipitating our anger. We observe mindfully in order to be able to see and to understand. Seeing and understanding are the elements of liberation that bring about love and compassion. The method of mindful observation in order to see and understand the roots of the anger is a method that has lasting effectiveness.
We cannot eat raw potatoes, but we don’t throw them away just because they are raw. We know we can cook them. So, we put them into a pot of water, put a lid on, and put the pot on the fire. The fire is mindfulness, the practice of breathing consciously and focusing on our anger. The lid symbolizes our con-centration, because it prevents the heat from going out of the pot. When we are practicing breathing in and out, looking into our anger, we need some concentration in order for our practice to be strong. Therefore, we turn away from all distractions and focus on the problem. If we go out into nature, among the trees and flowers, the practice is easier.
As soon as we put the pot on the fire, a change occurs. The water begins to warm up. Ten minutes later, it boils, but we have to keep the fire going a while longer in order to cook our potatoes. As we practice being aware of our breathing and our anger, a transformation is already occurring. After half an hour, we lift the lid and smell something different. We know that we can eat our potatoes now. Anger has been transformed into another kind of energy-understanding and compassion.

She only likes me to read the bits about the potatoes, when Thich Nhat Hanh waxes on to the analogy, she protests. Thus, under duress I read aloud the following edit…

We cannot eat raw potatoes, but we don’t throw them away just because they are raw. We know we can cook them. So, we put them into a pot of water, put a lid on, and put the pot on the fire... As soon as we put the pot on the fire, a change occurs. The water begins to warm up. Ten minutes later, it boils, but we have to keep the fire going a while longer in order to cook our potatoes. … a transformation is already occurring. After half an hour, we lift the lid and smell something different. We know that we can eat our potatoes now.

When I began, “‘We cannot eat raw potatoes,’” she interrupts me straightaway.

“That’s not true,” she protests. “You can eat red potatoes raw.”

“Oh?” I say.

“You can eat red potatoes,” she insists.

“Red potatoes?” I inquire, squinting quizzically in the soft candlelight.

“Yes, I did with Maicy and Hazel in the garden.”

“Oh, red tomatoes,” I nod.

“Yes, red topatoes,” she says emphatically.

Much charming confusion ensued to distinguish red tomatoes from red potatoes. and to sadly dispense with the delightful use of ‘topatoes’ as a cross of words between tomatoes and potatoes that does not actually exist as something to eat, cooked or raw.

Additionally Lady Kitty likes to then request the ‘Cabbage Story’ also by Thich Nhat Hanh, “Blaming Never Helps.”

Blaming Never Helps
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look into the reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.
One day in Paris, I gave a lecture about not blaming the lettuce. After the talk, I was doing walking meditation by myself, and when I turned the corner of a building, l overheard an eight-year-old girl telling her mother, “Mommy, remember to water me. I am your lettuce.” I was so pleased that she had understood my point completely. Then I heard her mother reply, “Yes, my daughter, and I am your lettuce also. So please don’t forget to water me too.” Mother and daughter practicing together, it was very beautiful.

A beautiful shared moment. We are lettuces watering each other. We are boiling our potatoes and eating our tomatoes 🍅 with friends straight out of the garden. We are spending time together. A perfect end to a perfect day. I’m glad I spent those precious moments with you.

Back to School

📸 Lauren Ryan – 2024 (with Theresa Mader)

Lake’s an enthusiastic participant of second grade now this autumn! He is throwing himself back into his 6:30 early morning alarm o’clock wake up and ensuing activities. You can be proud of yourself, Lake!

He is riding the school bus 🚌, enjoying second grade, making new friends, and showing up for extracurricular programming. Lake is continuing boychoir on Mondays and Wednesdays. Then together with Lady Kitty (although they are in different sections) swimming lessons on Tuesdays, and ballet class on Saturday mornings.

It’s going to be a fantastic year!

Gardening Mittens

“Do you think I could use mittens for gloves?” Lady Kitty said, referring to gardening gloves. She’s a keen observer, watching me wearing them lately as I’ve been doing my autumn planting—creating an English border garden.

Lady Kitty then answered her own question. She said, affecting an unconscious British accent, “a bit too warm for late Summer, don’t you agree?” She laughed.

Then she continued with the British accent and followed it up with, “a huge bit too warm,” and laughed again.

A perfect day. Four and a half. A perfect age. I’m so glad I spent it with you.

Pillow Talk

“There’s more boys than girls in the Earth, right Mama?” Lady Kitty said as we were cuddling in bed.

“No, there’s actually more women than men. Why?”

She paused, then ventured, “Men are usually in charge, they are usually the leaders.”

Pause. The eternal question.

I take a breath, a bit heartbroken. How do I explain cultural patriarchy to my darling four and a half year old girl?

“Women are presidents and leaders of homes, families, countries, and companies.” I dodge her point and pivot with counter-evidence.

“The Vice President, Kamala Harris, is running for President right now.”

“What’s a president?” she asked.

“A president is a leader of a country, or a company or an organization. They preside over.”

Silence. I could hear her processing. I continued.

“I can tell you’re going to be a leader, Lady Kitty.”

“Oh.” I could hear her a bit shyly, yet proudly smiling.

“I’m talking and my eyes are closed,” she said.

“Me too. I’m talking with my eyes closed too,” I said.

“It’s called Pillow Talk,” I said smiling.

“Is there Pillow Laugh?” she asked.

“Yes, there’s Pillow Laugh.” I replied both of us laughing.

“And there is Pillow Kiss and Pillow Sleep,” I said.

“I’m Pillow Sleep,” she concluded.

“Good night, Pillow Sleep. I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too,” she said.

“I love you Lady Kitty,” I said again, cherishing her strength, her innocence, her stoic curiosity, and because it’s so precious to her say back. Sometimes out of the blue she says to me, perhaps in reply to a greeting, loving phrase or a gesture with “I love you, too.”

“I love you too.” she replied ever so sweetly.

And we went to sleep.

Bottomless

We made pizza for dinner the other night. This is a bit of a Friday night tradition. Fun Fridays: pizza and salad and maybe a friend or a film. Each person gets to make their own pizza, adding the toppings that they like. Lady Kitty surprised me when she proceeded to eat her entire pizza piece by piece. As she asked for get another slice of her pizza, I exclaimed in delighted disbelief, “you’re bottomless!”

“No, I’m wearing underpants and shorts,” she endearingly replied in all sincerity.

Thespian

Lake’s second year of First Grade is winding down. He has two days left. It’s been an incredible year. He’s doing well—continuing to make steady progress in learning and having a good experience. The second round of First Grade went much better than the first. He had ended Kindergarten in the 30-40th percentile range and stayed there all year in First Grade last year. He was getting extra support at school for reading four days a week, but it appeared that school continued to feel like drowning and he would come home crying and yelling from the exhaustion and the strain. He’s stayed on a steady learning curve the entire time since beginning Kindergarten, and since the repeating of Grade 1, he’s moved into the 80-90th percentile where he had been able to enjoy and absorb the learning, feel more confident and make friends. We are not ones to put too much emphasis on numbers in performance, however I do think it indicated accuracy of assigned age and developmentally appropriateness where the curriculum is aimed at his level of learning readiness. He’s finally in a good spot this year and has resources remaining after learning the reading, writing, arithmetic skills so that he can enjoy his “extracurricular” activities of music, art, dance, and acting. Good job, Lake! You’ve been working hard and doing well.

Last month a highlight was Lake performed in his class’s end of the year play. Michael, Lady Kitty, Theresa and I were all there in the audience to celebrate their accomplishments and definitely to enjoy the show. They did a fantastic job! Well done to their teacher Ms. Thomas for her outstanding leadership and direction.

The play was written by a prior First Grader and had a ‘pirates and mermaids meet environmental efforts by sea life to protect the oceans’ storyline. Lake had a few lines as a comic shark which he delivered spot on, projecting loud and clear, and with perfect comedic timing. Many other parents came up to us to proclaim him “star shark” and “star of the First Grade play.”

I’m including Lakes lines here for your enjoyment, although the words on the page don’t do his performance justice. You’ll have to fill in the laughter with your imagination.

Q: Why didn’t the shrimp share his treasure?

A: He was a little shell-fish!

Q: Why did the shark say after he ate the clown fish?

A: That tasted funny!

Bravo Lake! Superb! Such fun! A perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you my dear comedic thespian!

Stopping Traffic

Last month during Mother’s Day weekend, my dad and I were sitting on the grass in front my of parents house. We were enjoying our fellowship and the sunshine of the day whilst engaged in the annual changing the oil in my car. My dad invited me to sit with him on the grassy embankment which he shared was called the George Christian Memorial Embankment in memory of his very good friend from Quinault who tragically ended his life in 1999. George was an exceptional human, and an authentic friend. He loved the beauty and perfection of nature and everything comme il faut. Duane and George had spent many hours talking together on that south facing gentle grassy sloped embankment talking together about life, Quinault, and enjoying friendship.

So there my dad and I were on Mother’s Day weekend, sharing in the warmth of the sun philosophizing about life, death, his dear friend George Christian, and Quinault all whilst the oil drained from my car. We were sitting there next to each other on the grass when a neighbor, a young woman unknown to us, drove by and stopped her car in the middle of the intersection. She rolled down her window to call out to us:

“Excuse me,” she said.

At first, we thought maybe she wasn’t a neighbor and instead was a lost tourist in need of directions. But instead, she surprised us by continuing on with:

“I just have to say U2 are so cute. You’re just making me so happy. I just had to say that. Have a great day.”

Just wow. We enjoyed an unexpected pleasant laugh together. This life. These moments. The goodness of family, connection and humanity. So special. we savored the experience together.

And so here we are pictured together on Father’s Day weekend at my cousin Laura’s wedding— this time with Lady Kitty—looking again so traffic stopping cute.

Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Duane! He is a very special person. My dad is a sensitive caring father and supportive friend. We can have deep conversations about pretty much anything. Sometimes they get intense, and we walk in silence or take a break and can pick it up later, or not. We keep showing up for each other— 46 years now. Mostly him for me for many of those years, but we mutually learn from and inspire each other, as well. I’m so grateful for our enduring and continuing relationship. I’m especially grateful for the bond he and my daughter have also been able to develop and share these past four years.

This life, the beauty of family friendship. Taking the time to sit together on a grassy bank again and again over the years. The breathing picture of this in practice—arresting. Traffic stoppingly so.

Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Duane. I love you always. A perfect day. I’m glad I spent it with you!

A Perfect Day . . .

I'm glad I spent it with you